On Mon, 14 Jun 1999 16:14:51 +0800, "George Lucas" <[email protected]> wrote:

<snipped fake reply>

Dear Lola,

Please ignore that post. That was an imposter pretending to be me.

I am sorry to inform you that I can not cast Leo as Anakin Skywalker as I have already offered him a part in the second movie. Leo will be playing Queen Amidala at the age of 26. I feel Leo's girlish figure and good looks are much better suited for this role. He also looks a lot like Natalie Portman who unfortunately will be too short for the kissing scenes I have planned.

May the Force be with you,

George Lucas

Dear Imposter,

The above post is from a George Lucas imposter. I do not take kindly to being impersonated, nor do I find the slurs on Leonardo Dicaprio to be in good taste. In fact there is nothing funny about the insinuation that Natalie Portman is too short for kissing scenes or that I think it would be appropriate to show a man dressed up as a woman in a movie intended for all audiences. Apparently the imposter is trying to mock my previously stated wish to explore gay themes in Episode 2.

That wish does not, by the way, preclude my working with Mr. Dicaprio in the future, either in connection with the Star Wars saga or in one of my many other projects. I am not ashamed of the open, manly affection I have for Mr. Dicaprio. I am secure enough in my own sexual identity to say that.

Lucasarts, by the way, is our game company and I do not have an email account on their company server. Why would I post from a lucasarts.com account? I have nothing to do with that subsidiary other than the fact that my name is stamped on the payroll checks. All other matters concerning it are handled by my personal robot doubles. Do your homework, buddy!

The young lady to whom I responded deserves better than this chicanery! Young lady, I implore you, do not listen to this imposter. Instead send a digital photograph of yourself, and a slightly younger brother if you have one, to me at [email protected]. I promise to reply promptly and with an unprecedented proposal for you and a potential sibling. Let me warn you in advance: this proposal may shock you at first--your initial instinct may be to draw away from me, to recoil at my cyber-touch. I ask only that you pause to reconsider at just that moment. What after all is human instinct other than the sum of life's arbitrary rules, drummed into us since birth? Why should we be kept within those boundaries, forbidden to taste the fruit that is so sweet, so tender and supple of skin? Imagine its juices dribbling down your chin! If anything I say provokes a secret curiosity in some corner of your mind, then you must reply. Let us rule all of Lucasfilm together, as old, experienced lover and young, lithesome lover, and perhaps also strangely androgynous brother of young, lithesome lover! Yes!

Yours,

George Lucas