The George Lucas Usenet Archive
Re: I MET GEORGE LUCAS TODAY!!!
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (George Lucas)
Subject: Re: I MET GEORGE LUCAS TODAY!!!
Date: Wed, 29 Dec 1999 21:54:44 -0600
Organization: Lucasfilm, Ltd.
Summary: Do not fear my robot doubles
Keywords: robot doubles big throat maybe gay
DkKnightFl wrote in <email@example.com>:
He was down here in Florida with his family at Disney's Animal Kingdom!!!! I work there. He was entering one of the shows while I was working, I looked up really quick to say HI to who I thought was a regular guest and right in front of me was none other than George Lucas. He said Hi back. I asked if he was enjoying his stay and he said yes that he was having a nice time during the holiday with his family. And to think I wanted to call in today!
I enjoy reading the Usenet several hours each day, and sometimes I like to pitch in my own thoughts. Allow me to clear up a misconception. You did not meet me, you met my robot double.
Due to security concerns, I no longer come into contact with the "fans" who made my Star Wars series famous the world over. Instead, videotapes of me are circulated at family gatherings and, in situations where "George Lucas" must appear in public, an android version is sent to deliver a programmed set of responses. Because not all contingencies can be programmed for, a surgically-altered freak stands by and uses ventriloquism to mimic authentic replies to questions my team of scientists did not anticipate.
I know many of you have safety concerns about interacting with a robot double that is potentially unsafe. To say nothing of the toxic chemicals required to keep the robot doubles at a safe operating temperature, there have been fears of these super-powerful, augmented duplicates going berserk. I cannot lie. My robot doubles were manufactured to special security standards and are capable of killing hundreds or even thousands of innocent bystanders with horrifying efficiency before self-destructing in a pulse of pulverizing shock waves and a secondary incendiary blast. To be honest, no one is safe in their presence.
Fortunately there have been no incidents to date, and I have come to rely on the freedom my robot doubles give me. While they parrot my views as screened by Lucasfilm attorneys, I can sit at home and surf the net!
Please be cautious when interacting with one of my robot doubles in the future--but please continue to do so, as they will record all praises of me and play them back for my amusement.
Thank you for supporting my dreams,