The George Lucas Usenet Archive

Re: I'm in a Christmas mood
From: [email protected] (George Lucas)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc
Subject: Re: I'm in a Christmas mood
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 1999 15:19:17 -0600
Organization: Lucasfilm, Ltd.
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
References: <[email protected]> <[email protected]>
Summary: It's a freebie!!!
Keywords: let's talk turkey
mike jackson wrote in <[email protected]>:

why are you being so crazy and not releasing the series on DVD sooner? come on...the fans have already demonstrated they'll buy anything, so why not release them now in slightly stripped-down versions, then release the definitive high-definition versions in a few years when the technology is there?

Dear Mike,

Thank you for your question, Mike. Because I have answered this question in the past, I will answer it for free now. In other words, this answer does not count against the one honest answer to a question which I promised to this newsgroup. It's free!

I, George Lucas, am committed to the quality of my films. I will not allow theaters to show them on equipment that does not meet my standards, and now I will not let you watch them at home unless you do the same. The standards that must be met are not merely the standards of the moment--the best there is right now--but the standards of my own fanciful imagination allowed to roam free. Because I have conceived the perfect film medium--the bio-cube--I will no longer release my films on anything but that. The bio-cube is a 3x3 inch living biochemical "object" that can store 100 million terabytes of data. It shall replace all other forms of data storage when it is completed, in approximately 60 years, including quite possibly the human brain. Just think, your mind could be substituted with the entire Star Wars saga!

My yes-men have estimated that 100 million terabytes is the amount of space necessary for the entire Star Wars series to be presented at film resolution and also to hold the hours and hours of new scenes I will be grafting onto the original movies. (There will also be not one but two commentary tracks featuring me talking about each film.)

My committment to quality goes even further than that, however. In order to purchase my movies, the consumer will have to first certify that his or her home theater system is fully THX-certified, and thereafter all proposed changes in the home theater system must first be approved by Lucasfilm, Ltd. or an authorized THX agent.

So you see, I have chosen to wait until technology is truly ready for my wonderful works of genius. I will not make the mistake of putting my movies on VHS, or the other mistake of putting them on laserdisc. Look how doing so has destroyed the Star Wars experience! No, it must be the bio-cube, or nothing at all.

May the Force be with you,