The George Lucas Usenet Archive
Correction: New Star Wars Title
From: George Lucas
Subject: Correction: New Star Wars Title
Summary: Okay, I screwed up big time
Organization: Lucasfilm, Ltd.
Date: Mon, 06 Aug 2001 19:43:20 -0500
Dear Star Wars Fans,
I've already had a huge response to the proposed new title for Star Wars: Episode II. I'll admit I was taken aback by the ratio of negative to positive letters, approximately 1000:1 if you count the compulsary fan mail sent to me by Lucasfilm employees.
Basically, it appears you all hate the title "Attack of the Clones". Ordinarily this sudden outcry would not cause me any concern, because I am very heavily shielded from reality as I work within my underground fantasy kingdom.
The minions in my employ, far from being tough-minded and daring professionals, shrink like worms before even my most diffident or ambiguous gesture. These yes-men--and yes-women I hasten to add (and yes-people-of-color as well)--would make the residents of Jonestown seem like Beatniks. They will stand and wet their pants when called upon during meetings, or curl into a fetal position when I seem upset, or memorize my most casual observations and repeat them back to me word for word when asked for good new ideas. Imbecilic loyalty has been taken to new extremes by my faithful workers, and for that I am greatful.
However, that said, I am very concerned that Episode II will already have enough drawbacks (the scenes involving closely photographed homosexual sex for one), and what it needs more than anything else is a snappy title. Something slick, something marketable, something suggestive.
So I, George Walton Lucas, swallowed my pride and went back to the drawing board. And I think I came up with a little doozy of a title that will soften your heads and warm your hearts:
Star Wars: Episode II - Clonefinger
Let me know what you all think. I think that my very subtle evocation of a sophisticated, old-yet-new spy series will raise eyebrows--and perhaps more than eyebrows. With your help, this one will beat Titanic for sure!
May the Force Be With You Always,