This is Sir Alec Guinness addressing the fans of my movie "Star Wars". Apparently my latest remarks about my work in "Star Wars" have upset many of you. I have been receiving angry letters by the dozen. My reaction is simple: tough shite, you bloody fucks.

As I sit here before my computer, reeling from this evening's massive consumption of gin, I am filled with seething hatred for those who talk constantly of my performance as "Kenobi" in "Star Wars". I hate it now and I hated it then. George Lucas is a little fag and I wish he was here now so I could kick his ass. I could handle that fat, throaty bitch alright.

I don't have any stories to tell you about the shoot on "Star Wars". I was in and out of stupor most of the time, you little shite bastards. Oh that reminds me there is one story. It was­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s­s