The George Lucas Usenet Archive
An Important Announcement Concerning Sir Alec Guinness
From: email@example.com (George Lucas)
Subject: An Important Announcement Concerning Sir Alec Guinness
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 1999 04:59:09 -0500
Organization: Lucasfilm, Ltd.
Summary: Natalie George suggestive "friendship"
Keywords: gayness is the bright side of life
I have used this forum in the past to share my views with the fans. I consider the debates, discussions, and information-sharing to be an integral part of the Star Wars phenomenon, a sign of its richness and popular appeal. In some ways, you online fans are responsible for keeping hope alive as I work on the prequel trilogy to my first masterpiece.
Therefore it is to you first that I address myself on issues concerning Sir Alec Guinness. In light of the goings-on here, it makes sense.
The recent posts by Sir Alec Guinness disturb me. I have tried to contact him in England but have received no reply. While the possibilty remains that his most recent postings to Usenet are a hoax, I fail to see why he should wish to deceive us in such a way. His language is certainly too harsh for any joke I would care to hear.
More than anything else, it concerns me that he has disparaged my movies. This is not just a contractual dispute. Like all my employees, he has waived all rights to speech that can be determined by me to be derogatory of Star Wars, my media empire, or the merchandizing in any form of his likeness, his voice, and his legal name. His gross points hinge on adherence to these stipulations. While I am above crushing an old man who appears to be senile and drunk, my many subordinates are not. They will carry out ruthless orders that they believe they were given while preserving a patina of deniability at the top executive levels of Lucasfilm. Right now my most ardent wish is to track him down so that I may warn him. After warning him I will then flee.
On an unrelated note, you have probably heard the rumors. However, let me state categorically that I have not been arrested on charges of arranging an out of state meeting with Natalie Portman for purposes of procuring sex with a minor. That is a scurrilous lie, possibly arising from confusion about a news item regarding an employee of another company. I will state for the record, that I have not had sex with Natalie Portman, and apparently no one can prove that I did. To the best of my knowledge there is no DNA material that could establish otherwise. Are we seeing each other "socially"? Yes, but what of it? Her parents have been remunerated with a tidy sum for their discretion. I did not use the word "payoff". Natalie and I grew close on the set of A Phantom Menace, closer than I have ever gotten to a woman. The laughs we enjoyed were not "dirty" or "lecherous" or "sick", as some would have it. They were merely "playful" and "adventurous" and "exploratory". That is my final word on this subject.
May the Force be with you,