The George Lucas Usenet Archive

A Reply To My Critics (and Dockers)
From: George Lucas
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc
Subject: A Reply To My Critics (and Dockers)
Organization: Lucasfilm, Ltd.
Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 23:24:52 GMT
Dear Star Wars Fans,

I have been very recently informed of a critical piece of satire aimed at me in a comic strip known as "Dockers". Specifically, this satirical comic strip implied that I have been using drugs or other artificial stimulants. It is not known to me if this comic strip is in some way affiliated with the well-known garment manufacturer.

As the creator of Star Wars, I must first state that I take these accusations very seriously. No one knows better than I the side effects of massive drug abuse. I too have felt the exhilirating high from several cans of Mello Yello. I too have become manic and crazy after eating a package of Oreos. I too have stripped naked and experienced prolonged blackouts after finishing a case of O'Douls. It is no laughing matter.

Moreover, I've seen the effects of drug use in others. And whenever I could, I worked to put a stop to it. I wrestled Harrison Ford to the ground to pry away the whiskey bottle that had become his best friend and worst enemy during the shooting of Return of the Jedi. I pleaded with Mark Hamill not to augment his performance with No-Doz for the climactic showdown in Empire. And in an effort to keep my set "clean", I even confined Carrie Fisher to doing a line only after every other take.

My war on drugs has a personal perspective as well. Last summer--and this is the first time I have publicly acknowledged this--my son Jet had a bong surgically grafted onto his face. We're still in counseling, and while the bong remains in place, I feel confident in the progress of our therapy.

Yes, it would be all too easy for someone in my position to resort to drugs of every variety to cope with the stresses of being George Walton Lucas. Yes, I get asked very often whether this or that creative decision was the result of mind-altering chemicals. I have always felt and continue to feel, pending the advice of my attorneys, that I have never used drugs to come up with any of my fantastic ideas. I get my highs from life, and from good, clean electrical stimulants. NOT from chemicals of any kind.

Lastly, I would say this to the creator of Dockers: Show me your Yoda. You chump.

May the Force Be With You Always,